Washers of Feet

Have you ever had your feet washed by a person who didn't expect anything in return? It takes quite a person to have an attitude like that, a humble and patient person who genuinely has an authentic desire to serve out of love and joy. That's something were all called to work on. I don't think I'll never be that good in this lifetime, but it's not a bad desire.

When the topic of service pops up in conversation, I'll sometimes look around to see if there is a lack of ambition in the eyes of people. Sometimes I notice it more than I wish to. I think to myself, "They're missing out on so many opportunities to grow! Why does serving make people uneasy? Why do people skirt off the topic when they are asked to serve?" This is something that kind of baffles me. I'm sure it's more than just laziness... There's a deeper reason, but I just don't know it yet.

As my Pastor said, people like doing the 'cool sexy thing' when it comes to serving. People like doing the cool thing, and I suppose I don't blame them. People, if they chose to volunteer, generally want to be part of huge events and be noticed for volunteering. I think that's a given, but it seems like that's the only reason some serve. We all like pats on the back, especially if it's work that looks good and produces eye candy.

The average volunteer doesn't want to get dirty on their knees, weeding out a yard with their bare hands by themselves. People generally don't want hard, laborious work that tires the muscles, especially if they're by themselves.

Maybe it all comes down to a person's fleshly desires. On one hand the volunteer can serve in a neat project where people will give them props and they'll feel good because they're part of the 'cool sleek thing.' On the other hand, the volunteer can go into a home to provide for a less fortunate old woman who does nothing but nag and complain about life's unfair and disproportionate values. The volunteer has two extreme options here, and I guarantee that if they analyze both options, they will begin to lean towards the more pleasurable opportunity. What a tragedy that many feel this way! There needs to be a shift, a change in priorities!

I don't recall Jesus being a volunteer on any amazing projects, like repairing the Temple or anything like that. Maybe he did stuff like that, but the Bible doesn't point that out. On the contrary, it talks about Jesus helping the needy and poor, the down trodden and beaten. If Jesus was indeed involved in cool projects, the writers of the Gospels chose not to include that. They saw something more important, more insightful than Jesus doing the 'cool new sexy thing.' They pointed out through many stories that Jesus was involved with one-on-one encounters when serving people. He did a lot of hard dirty work. As far as Jesus and serving goes in the Bible, one of the biggest things they point to is the fact that he was incredibly humble. Jesus the King was most of all a humble servant.

That's the kind of attitude I want to have. I want to serve out of Love and Joy. People could do incredible things if they didn't really care about getting any credit for it. If a person serves and get's credit, good for them. If a person serves without getting even an ounce of credit, then I would say that they are even more blessed. I encourage everyone to follow Jesus's example. Let's serve in all ways, and not expect any credit. He got on his knees and washed the feet of his freinds. He served with humility. let's do likewise.

Lessons from Philippians

A person could learn a lot from this book. This was posted because I was going through a few pages of my notebook, and I caught a page that I had forgotten about. Here are a few things that I jotted down from reading the Book of Philippians:

*Verses on bottom

Be confidant, God who began a good work in you will carry it onto completion until the day of Christ Jesus.

God can even use false motives (not that we should fine with false motives). God can take evil and use it for good. He's that powerful.

Conduct ourselves in a manner that is worthy of the Gospel.

At times you need to suffer for Jesus. If you are following Jesus, then you should expect suffering to come to you. "It's granted to you on behalf of Christ not only to believe in Him, but also suffer for Him,..."

Don't do anything out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves.

Look for the other person's interests, not just your own.

Our attitudes should be the same as Christ's (A servant):
He was the very nature of God, and didn't consider equality with God something that had to be grasped. He made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. He was found in appearance as a man, humbling himself. He became obedient to death on a cross. Therefore God exalted him to the highest place and gave him the name that is above every name so that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow in heaven and on earth and even under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is the Lord, all the the glory of God the Father.

Do everything without complaining or arguing.

Realize that sin and anything un-Christ like is absolute rubbish in comparison to knowing Christ.

Forget what is behind and go strain forward toward the prize (which I would say is Him!)

Take note of leaders and watch them, you may learn something.

"Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!"

Let our gentleness be evident to all.

Pray about anything and everything! And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Jesus.

Think about stuff that's true, honorable, just, pure, lovely, commendable, anything of excellence and anything worthy of praise.

You can do all things through Him who strengthens you!

Our God will supply every need of ours according to His riches in glory to Jesus. Don't you remember what Jesus said? He said, "So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.

1:6
1:15-18
1:27
1:29
2:3
2:4
2:5-11
2:14
2:8
3:13
3:17
4:4
4:5
4:6-7
4:8
4:13
4:19 (Matthew 6:31-33)

Little Sister

You ever get some day's that seem to roll over really well, even with little effort? (And yes, it's possible!)

Yesterday went better than expected. I got to spend most of the day with my little sister. My mom handed us some cash and we went to the mall to get some supplies like a new pair of shoes (sweet!), and some little trinkets for the little lady who would be with me. Half of the cash went into the new shoes I needed, and the rest went into lunch, my sisters stuff, and a few "little things" that some how added up to $20. Either way, it was great to actually spend some quality time with my sister because it seems like we don't do it much together. She often mentioned that I spend more time with my friends than I do with her, and I'm her only sibling at home now. As much as I didn't want to hear it, she was absolutely right, so it felt really good to spend some one-on-one time with her.

I enjoyed hearing her say, "Thank you" at random moments. It makes a man feel fuzzy on the inside, if that were possible...

The second day was no different. I spent some more time with her at the mall again. This time we didn't do much shopping, and I was thankful for that. I'm at that stage where I'm seriously watching how I spend, which is a good thing I suppose.

We recounted the uselessness of little trinkets in the local Hello Kitty store, considered the recklessness of a man who ran through the walk ways with hands flailing in the air, and observed nature at it's finest with two little puff ball puppies scrapping it out in a play pen. Apparently there was a dispute between them on who would play with the third puppy.

I love those little times where my sister would open up to me with inquisitive questions like, "Teach me more about this stuff...", "Why do some people etc...", I have a friend at school and..." To me, they are the evidence of a young woman growing in the world around her. She's finding her way around, and I plan on helping her do that. I've loved growing closer to her, and I don't plan on stopping.

So about College and Starbucks...

"Hey Jorge, thanks for calling. I have one more question I wanna ask. You mentioned that you were going to college this fall?"

"Well, if I get accepted, yeah."

"Umm, ok. We only hire people if they can stay for one year or more. By the time you go to college this fall, it'll be too soon, only six months."

"Oh... ok... So if I don't get accepted, then uh, can I call you back?"

"Yeah! We'll definitely have a place for you here if you want to call back, so don't worry. I'm sure that if you do go to college, other stores will gladly take you!"

A lot of things rested on whether or not college was my soon-to-be future. I was hoping that God would somehow plop me into an apartment in Chicago where I could study and hopefully be thrown into a future of vocational Ministry. After all, that's why I signed up for Bible School.

I was almost convinced that God wanted me to go to Moody, or at least something like it. In the last year things seemed to click together, guiding me to this decision. I thought God was going to let me go and "broaden my horizons" in this field. But I knew in my heart, deep down, that there was always a possibility of the college saying, "No." So I allowed room in my heart to accept that possibility. It's a good thing I did too...

A week after the Starbucks interview, I finally received a letter from the Moody Bible Institute. I put my finger in between the flap and the letter, and just before I tore it open, I stopped. Putting the letter on my lap and looking out my window, I prepared my self for what might be a great day, or a sad one. "God," I prayed, "I don't know what's in this letter, but what ever it is, please prepare my heart to accept what your desire is in all of this."

I didn't get accepted. I re-read it all just to take it in again. Now this is the part where the person starts asking "why?" They get to a certain point where their emotions pour out. But for some reason I was actually fine with it. I was fine with not going to Moody because God seemed to imply that there was another place that was more important for me to be. After I read it, I put it back on my lap and said, "Thank you God, for not letting me go to a place you didn't want me to be."

I put the letter to the side and continued with my day until I sat down for dinner.

"Hey mum, how was your day?"

"Ok. Work was heavy. You?"

"It was fine, I guess... Umm... Yeah, I got a letter today."

"Oh yeah? From who?"

"College."

Looking surprised, "Oh really? Did you read it?"

"Uhh yeah. I didn't get accepted."

I've had to break the news to a number of people, all of who were upset. But that's ok, because I'm at peace with it.

This is the beautiful part about having a relationship with God. Trusting God to help make life changing decisions will take the stress off your back. Your not really worried about big things, because you already know God has it under His control.

In the end things still turned out just fine. I got a new job at Starbucks (and I am not disappointed by any means!), I get to stay home with my family, I get to still see my friends, and I can still be part of my church.

So I didn't get accepted... That's ok. There's always next year right? Besides, It's not like I have to go now. I know some people who went to college in their 30's and they're doing just fine. I am not worried.

The God who formed the mountains with his finger tips, and holds the seven seas in the palms of his hands... Amazingly that God is my Father, and He will see me to the beautiful end. Yeah, I'm looking forward to it. :)

Sacrificial love (in a small way this time)

There's always an opportunity to share Gods love. Even in the waking hours of the morning.

I was working at my job all night and I looked forward to getting home for some sleep. I stopped by the bank to deposit my check and filled up on gas and drove home. It was 6 AM, the butt-crack of dawn.

As usual, I always check my Facebook just before I go to bed. Ironically, there just happened to be my friend from around the world who conveniently began chatting with me.

She began with, "How are you doing?" along with other general ice breakers. With that, she began asking questions about my faith and about my stance on certain issues. Now let me explain something here. I'm tired, and I really want to go to bed. After lifting boxes all night, my bed was feeling really comfortable. But I realized that I was being extremely selfish. This was a golden opportunity! This person wants to know stuff about God, and I have answers! The only thing holding me back from showing her Gods love were my selfish sleepy desires.

So as tired as I was, I happily answered her many questions. Was I exhausted? You bet. But did I enjoy it? Absolutely. I slept happily that morning. :)

There is a joy that I get when I am involved in Ministry. I just need a different job so that I can be more free to get into it. Ha!

She said, "Don't force me! Such a thing should not be done..."

"...But he would not listen to her, and being stronger than she, he violated her and lay with her."

Those are some pretty strong words right there, but that's exactly what this guy did. While King David was still alive, his oldest son Amnon took fancy to his half-sister, Tamar. The law back then condemns such vile things; 'Do not have sexual relations with the daughter of your father's wife, born to your father; she is your sister', (Lev. 18:11). Now as disgusting and ridiculous as this is, Amnon apparently thought it'd be fine to trick her into thinking he was bed-ridden.

Basically the story goes down like this: Amnon goes crazy over his half-sister, Tamar. So he basically tricks her into thinking that he's ill. So she's doing the nice sister thing by baking him food. As soon as she comes to feed him, he grabs hold of her and basically say's that he wants to sleep with her. She starts to protest because she doesn't want that kind of icky relationship (what girl would?). Amnon ignores her and then rapes her... But it doesn't end there. After he's had his way with her, he say's in anger, "Get up! Go!" To which she replied, "No, my brother! Sending me away like this is worse than what you just did to me!"

Now here's a little background to fill in the details: In Israeli law (back then), if you raped a virgin woman, then you were responsible for her well being in one way or another.

If a man seduces a virgin who is not pledged to be married and sleeps with her, he must pay the bride-price, and she shall be his wife. If her father absolutely refuses to give her to him, he must still pay the bride-price for virgins. (Exodus 22:16-17)

I get the feeling that King David wouldn't have given Tamar over to the brother who just raped her. So even though King David wouldn't have given his daughter to a brother/rapist, Amnon would have to still pay the bride price anyway.

The reason why this story irked me so badly was because Amnon was going to throw Tamar out like Garbage, which would have only deepened the blade in her wounds. One thing I learned from this story is this:

-Don't have sexual relations with any relatives (Obviously, that's just disgusting)
-If you make a big mistake, deal with it. Don't try to throw it away as if it didn't have any value.
-If you destroy a persons life, do the best you can with the situation (especially if the person you hurt is willing to reason with you!)

When you make a mess, you have to own up to it and do your best to clean it. Take some responsibility!

Eventually Tamar's brother kills Amnon, most likely out of revenge for what he did to his sister. So I guess he got what he deserved. Good riddance. King David didn't need an incestuous rapist in his palace anyways.

*Story is found in 2 Samuel chapter 13

The experience of Jr. High Ministry

If you know anything, the beginning is usually the hardest because you won't know where to start. Like the older wolf on the right, I've been in the same spot when it comes to kids at our church. I love them to death, but as the wolf shows, you have to have patience.

That's a key word right there. Remember this because 40 of these kids in one room can really put some pressure on you.

Starting off wasn't easy. Actually, it was very difficult. Imagine walking into a room with about 40 pre-teens running around frolicking with one another. Chaos was expected as you talked with the kids, and sometimes you had to take a few aside to personally speak to them about their behavior. Even while it was hard, I knew it was going to be worth it one day soon.

Today things have changed a bit. They're better at listening and they've learned to respect their leaders (for the most part). But I don't have a lot of complaints. I actually enjoy it.

Now I'm frequently running about while thinking about the kids and wondering what we can do for them at a personal level. Most of it are just thoughts, but I hope to turn it into action. I spend time with some of them, because getting to know them has actually turned out to be fun, and I like seeing them grow. It's one of the most joyful aspects of this ministry. Teaching is also fun. I enjoy it even more when it's a one-on-one opportunity for me to teach. It's sounds so cheesy but it's a real joy when these kids actually learn things, I love it.

The other leaders have been a big help for me as well. When things got really hard, they encouraged me. When things went well, they still encouraged me. No matter how good or bad things went, they never ceased to encourage me, and I am totally thankful for all of it. It's been said, "And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching." ~Hebrews 10:24-25

If you know anybody in Ministry, please encourage them. From what I've learned, Ministry is one of the hardest things to do because it can really drain you! Keep the encouragement flowing because it really helps us out, I assure you!

Here's a tip: You've got to let these kids know that you care about them. If one kid really likes Pokemon, then talk about Pokemon with them. "Really? What's your favorite Pokemon?", "Why do you like it?", "Do you still play the games?", "Do you collect the cards? How many do you have?" You'll probably hate Pokemon, but if you get excited about what they're excited about, then they'll connect with you at a much easier level. It's not deceitful, it's actually a way of showing love. Your willing to put yourself aside for their sakes. Your willing to sacrifice yourself for them in a small way. Even if they don't realize that whole concept at first, they will at least begin to know that you really care about them.

The most important thing I've learned is this: I fail to do the best when I am not in Christ. Jesus said to his disciples, "I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing." He makes it painfully clear that if your not in Him, then your work will not produce the right results for what ever your doing. Now from what I understand, He's speaking in terms of spiritual results, not financial results. So don't start thinking that if your with Jesus, you'll be financially secure.

All in all, there's a lot I'm still learning, and I enjoy going there when I can. It's not always easy for me, but it's not hard for God to give me the strength I really need to carry on through. I've come to realize that Ministry probably isn't just a job that I do on the side... Ministry is probably going to be my lifestyle. That's something that I don't mind at all. :)

Good and Bad Stuff: Lessons from Both Sides

It's called "The Divine Mentor," and I'm reading it because our Pastor recommended it. But the real reason I'm reading it is because it's fun. Wayne Cordeiro has a way of explaining things so that even the most simple person can understand it all, which is great because I won't have to think so much. It's a good contrast when comparing it to John Piper's scholarly works, which are full of concepts so mind bending that they force me to literally put his books down just so I can mentally work my way through his lessons.

The Diving Mentor doesn't work that way. It's simple and to the point. Just today after reading the third chapter, I came across a blurb that I think most college students should remember. On page 46, it reads:

A few years ago a young man left Hawaii for a short time to enter a popular mission's school of biblical studies. When he returned, I asked him, "How were your classes?"

He replied, "Some were dynamite! But some were a total waste."

"What do you mean?"

"Some of the instructors were good, but the rest were awfully bad. So I didn't learn much from them."

"No!" I challenged. "Don't do that! You can learn as much from the bad as the good."

"You don't understand," he said, explaining his plight. "Some were so tedious, we were bored stiff within three minutes."

"That's fantastic!"

"What?"

"You can learn valuable lessons from them," I said. "Take notes on that. Let them read like this: 'Our morning teacher is able to bore us to sleep in only three minutes. This has rarely been accomplished! This must be a miracle.'"

I continued, "Analyze what he did: What made it so boring? Was it his monotone voice? Lack of research? Tired passion? If you can figure out how to learn from the bad as well as from the good, you'll learn twice as much in life."

That's why God put into the Bible raw, unedited accounts of men and women behaving both wisely and foolishly. He hand picked these people to mentor us, the good and the bad together. Remember what Paul said? "For everything that was written in the past was written to teach us, so that through endurance and the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope."

Personally, I love this book. I haven't even gotten into the main dish that this book has to offer, but I'm already learning little things like this that will help me grow as a Christian.

It's funny how people tend to say that the Bible has a lot of negative things in it. I don't disagree. They're right, there are a lot of negative things in it, but it's made so that we learn from them. A person who actually spends time reading the Bible will find that there are a lot of really positive things in it too. Both good and bad mistakes done by imperfect human beings in a fallen world.... It makes for one pretty neat manual, don't you think?

Bible verse from the book is Romans 15:4.

Comment and opinions below! Thanks! :)

The Concerned Captain and the Zealous General

I actually planned on writing this up a few weeks ago, but other topics tend to get in the way. So to all you reading this, here's a story about two people who are trying to figure out how to deal with "the enemy." Learn something from this, because I learned from it personally.

There was one particular Captain in the middle of a war. He and his men believed with all their hearts that they were fighting for a great cause. Morale was dwindling and the situation seemed dire. The captain had only been in a few battles, but none were as bad as this. He decided to call the General to seek assistance. The Captain, now aware, realized that the enemy were only a few hundred miles away. He believed that without help, the battle would be lost! The Captain asked for instruction, leadership, assistance. He needed direction! Surely the General, a higher ranking official would know what to do!

Now the General was a passionate man. He cared for the Captain and his men. So in zeal, he said to the Captain, "Don't worry, I'll handle it!" The General quickly drove to the Captains location and reassured him saying, "I'll take care of these enemies. You have nothing to fear! Give me all your men and I'll take care of this."

The Captain knew the landscape much better than the General. The Captain also knew the conditions of battle better than this General would ever know. The number of supplies, the number and condition of the enemy were also only the Captains'. However, the zeal of the General was too great, so the Captain, dismayed by the battle, let the higher ranking General take control. You can only imagine how that battle turned out...

We all make foolish decisions. Sometimes we're the General. We think we know the situation well enough and then foolishly jump into action. Rather than scan the predicament, we just run and shoot. It's almost as though we're arrogant enough to believe that we always know what we're doing, even if we only know the half of it. Personally, people who act like this hit my pet peeve. But unfortunately, there are times where I'm like this.

Sometimes we're Captains who are scared. We might feel a little pushed by the "enemy." We're willing to get help anywhere it comes. Captains (as far as this example shows) are willing to find a good solution, but lack the backbone to say "No, this is my battle, let me do it. I just need your advise, that's all."

If your in a tight spot and you need help, don't be a fool and allow someone to fix your problem if they couldn't possibly understand the situation (even if they think they do!). Don't just give your problems to people, but go through them yourself. If you need help and advice, then that's fine. Listen to people you look up too, but don't let them do the dirty work for you! You will miss out on the experience you will need when the next battle comes your way.

If your being a "General", then I would advise you to at least think before you make a fool of yourself. Stepping out into a problem and making an attempt to "fix" it would likely result in false success. The last kind of General you want to be is the one who thinks they did an awesome job when in fact, they did more damage than anything. Surly that would be embarrassing.

You'd be more informed if you just went to the problem yourself to figure out why the "enemy" is even fighting in the first place. Who knows, maybe you and the Captain are totally misunderstanding the whole thing!

You'll miss out a lot if you just let people deal with your garbage. One day when you don't have your "general" around, you'll probably get stuck not knowing how to best handle the situation. You might end up trying to fix your problem, but because of the lack of experience, you won't do a good job at it. Learn now while you can.

This happens all the time. In marriages, school, at work, in church, between friends and family, social clubs and groups. Basically, you'll encounter this problem in every social sphere you'll ever be engaged in. If your a Christian and you have a problem with some other Christian who's wronged you, follow Matthew 18:15. If your not a Christian, then I'd also advise you to do the same thing. Don't let resentfulness and bitterness sit in your heart. It's a self torturing experience.

Grow a backbone, pray, then proceed with the advice of elders, friends, parents, and scripture. Don't be a chicken and let some one fight your battles for you.

(additional info: Obviously don't follow this advise if your a little kid. For example, if your under 18 and some creeper dude tries to do weird nasty things to you, then don't go to him to "talk it out", lol. Call the cops and let them handle it. This blog is aimed at adults, obviously)

Why Eternal Punishment in Hell Makes Sense

Most reading this will be angry with me, but I'm doing my absolute best to explain Biblical truth. This is a very sobering topic for some of you and for others, it's a triumphant ring of truth. Which ever way you take this, please consider that I am using the Bible as the absolute standard of truth. This is a weighty one, so if any of you disagree with me, then leave a comment and we'll talk.

Many of you have made an assumption based on the word "fair." I think that's a good place to start because many people get this idea that God must be fair. The general idea is, "If God is a good God, then God's gotta be fair."

But if that's true, then where does Hell fit in? Some people would argue, asking, "Why would a God who is all loving send people to an unending eternity of misery based upon 80 years of sin?" How can God do such a thing and still be called righteous? Isn't that way too severe a punishment? A loving merciful God sending people to Hell for eternity?!

Some people like to think, "If we do 70 years of sinning, then we should get 70 years of Hell. That's fair, good, and just, right?" Let me ask you this. If it took me 20 seconds to murder an innocent victim, should I be sentenced to 20 seconds in prison? You and I know very well that justice doesn't work this way. It's not based off of the time it took to murder, but rather on the severity of the crime.

An offense against the president of some nation will be treated with much more seriousness than a slanderous action against some random person on the street. It's not only a matter of what sin you did folks! It's also a matter of the person you've offended! In this case, it's God!



Apparently we have offended God in such a way that we deserve eternal punishment. But how?

Remember, a legal offense against the president rather than offending some poor bloke is treated with much more seriousness and will earn the offender a considerable sentence in prison. A person who offends God, an infinitely worthy being, will be sentenced to an infinitely worthy punishment. That really shows how much worth God is doesn't it?

Most of us were taught that God is defined as a loving, graceful, merciful, care taking giver of life (and that's true!). But it looks like people were taught only the half of it. Those who teach from the Bible have the responsibility to teach the whole truth, not only parts of it. When people are only given a few pieces of the puzzle, the whole picture never really looks right. It's difficult to come to the right conclusion if your not well informed of everything, which is why I try so hard to make sure I know my stuff, especially with this topic!

It's about time people realize that God simply isn't fair. In fact, it's to our benefit that God isn't fair. If God were to be fair with everyone, we would all go to hell, and justly so. Apparently, God allows people who have lived terribly crummy lives to enter into Heaven with him.

Remember the thief on the cross? This thief was a sinner like all of us, yet Jesus on the cross next to the thief said, "Today, you will be with me in paradise." If you click that and read, you'll see that even the thief hanging next to Jesus actually say's, "We are punished justly, for we are getting what our deeds deserve." Even at his death, the thief knew he was getting what he deserved.

Jesus was being very unfair here (remember, that's a really good thing!), and Jesus promises the thief that on that very day, He and the thief would be together be in paradise. This is simply an awesome act of mercy. The thief was saved because he believed Jesus.

God being unfair is actually a really good thing for us. God offers a free gift, eternal life. Any one who deliberately refuses and ignores this free gift is practically walking to hell on their own accord. (Sounds mean, but it's true)

The first 5 minutes after death

It must be rather amazing right? The first 5 minutes after death has got to be something so marvelous that nothing in our world can possibly come close to comparing.

An officer was describing the accomplishments he made during his life time career. The old man described skirmishes, battles, sieges, personal encounters, hairbreadth escapes, victories, and the anxieties and hope given to a man who was entrusted to command an army. People loved hearing his stories, and they often kept asking for more. Near the end of his stories, he would say, "I expect to see something much more remarkable than anything I have been describing." People did not usually catch his meaning, so he would give a bit more detail by saying, "I mean the first five minutes after death."

Henry Parry Liddon said it best... "'The first five minutes after death!' Surely the expression is worth remembering. This is a solemn thought for any man who has ever lived. Now let's employ for the moment when we are speaking of eternal standards of measurement which belong to time. It is at least conceivable that after a lapse of some thousands or tens of thousands of years, we will probably lose all sense of any succession of events; that existance will come to seem to be a never-ending present; an unbegun and unending now. I think it's conceivable that this is possible. But an even more starteling thought! Let's suppose that at the moment of our entrance on that new and wonderful world we will already think and feel as if we had always been there, or had at least been there for ages."

I think it's interesting, don't you?

Of course, you and I know that not every body gets into that "oh so wonderful world." For those who don't make it, there is another place for them. Let me just say this, The Bible never mentions a purgatory. I know a lot of Catholics disagree, but if you honestly believe that the Bible is the authentic word of God, then I suggest you please trust it, rather than the thoughts of men.

Oh yeah, and there's that 'other' place to consider as well. The place of eternal torment. I'll write a blog soon on why it makes sense for people to suffer this way. (Sounds crazy doesn't it?!) Don't worry, It'll make sense in the next blog.

If you want to know how to get to this wonderful place, then here's a link. Just click HERE. I know most of you will probably not read it, but the page will provide a ton of answered questions on the bottom if you are interested. Don't let the first 5 minutes after death be one of regret.

Girls are like apples???

My friend sent me a humorous message after he read my last blog. Hope you like it! :D

Girls

are like apples

on trees. The best ones

are at the top of the tree.

The boys don’t want to reach

for the good ones because they

are afraid of falling and getting hurt.

Instead, they just get the rotten apples

from the ground that aren’t as good,

but easy. So the apples at the top think

something is wrong with them, when in

reality, they’re amazing. They just

have to wait for the right boy to

come along, the one who’s

brave enough to

climb all

the way

to the top

of the tree.

My first (serious) look into courtship relationships...

Oh man... Here we go. Yet again someone provided me a source or two about "courtship relationships". Sometimes I cringe at the thought, but to be honest with you, I've been getting this nudge inside me saying, "Jorge, you ought to take this seriously. Just do your research, like you always do." Since it's Valentines Day, I figured, "Heck, why not. It's about time I seriously studied this anyways..."

I Googled, "What does Christian Courting look like?"

Apparently there is a different world out there that I seldom ventured. I felt like a foreigner walking through the landscape, taking in new information. It felt like I was rummaging through an old mans dusty trunk stored in some attic, looking for pieces of gold, hoping to find at least something useful. There were no hearts or gift cards. Rather, there were Bible passages. Bits and pieces were coming together forming this picture for me. I felt enlightened, and slightly burdened.

"This is a lot of stuff." That was my first thought. Then I wondered, "Why God? Why is does it seem so complicated? Can't a guy and a girl just get together and be in love, then stay committed together in marriage?"

As I continued, I found that there were specific reasons why such precautions had to exist in courtship relationships. Many of the hows and why's began disappearing as I found my answers. I felt like a child again, learning important truths. I could almost picture it. A Father guiding his son through a mucky marsh, telling him, "Step here", "Don't do that, you'll regret it", "Follow me", "Watch for my lead", "Do as I do."

It's strange that I'm learning all this now. Of all days, why now? Regardless, God has his reasons. I have followed God to this day, and He has never wronged me. In fact, I often find that when I look back, I can see how He had protected me from people, circumstances, and even myself. I find it amazing.

It'll probably take years for me to mostly understand all this. I know I'm not ready for any courting with a girl, and I definitely know that I can't support a family. The idea scares me a bit (but only because I am so far from being ready). But that's alright. The smartest thing to do now is grow in my relationship with Christ. I'll concentrate on that and let Him do the fine tuning on everything. Besides, He knows me better than anyone.

I'm not looking down on people when they decide to go about relationships the dating way. I've known some very happy people who didn't court and got married. What I'm saying is that I don't think that there is only one way. I'm simply choosing it because it seems like the most biblically grounded direction to me, so I'm going to take it. Some people who honestly love the Lord have been put in my path, informing me on "Christian Courtship", and I think I'm going to actually listen and take heart this time. Besides, what's the harm in learning?

Here's one article that I found that was really informative. There were some parts that made me chuckle because I could picture a large old Londoner with a top hat an and eye monocle speaking the very words in this article. Then when I got to the bottom, I coughed up the tea I was drinking. It read, "Written by Charles J. Clarke, London, 1947."

Ok, so maybe Charles J. Clarke was indeed a large old man from London with a top hat and an eye monocle... Either way, it was golden information that I agreed with.

There were some parts that made me grin. This specific portion discussed what a woman should be able to do by the time courtship was permissible:

"The use, of the work-basket is necessary too, as well as so many other aspects of home-making."

In today's world, most girls don't knit baskets, but I get his point.. But I get the point. If you want the link to his article, you'll find that I put it on the bottom of this blog.

I'm beginning to understand why some girls who are brought up this way are the way they are. I've met a few girls who pursue relationships with this approach (I'm not implying that I wanted anything with them), and now I'm suddenly realizing why they were so strange to me. Now it actually seems to make sense because of all this new information. Looking back, I can see where I accidentally and unintentionally over stepped the boundaries they probably placed. Now I feel like a mere school boy who just had an epiphany. If any girls I offended read this years later, then I apologize, lol! :)

Some things I learned:
- A successful courtship ends with either friendship or marriage, there are no regrets.

- What needs to be pointed out is that it is much more than `great fun'. It is one of the most serious issues of your life. During these critical months and years you are choosing your life-partner, and therefore, you are choosing your destiny. You yourself are choosing your own happiness or misery. You are choosing whether the rest of your life is to be lived in the heaven of perpetual `keeping in love' or, may be, in the hell of disharmony and perpetual friction. Other people are not choosing for you. You would be indignant if they attempted to. You insist that this is your choice. And so it is.

- Dating does not necessarily equal "Dirty" unless you make it so. Dictionary.com's definition is pretty vague. Since so many people have different ideas about what "dating" is, then the definition seems relative. For you, dating means "X". For me, it may mean "K". If you and your decided partner want to talk about such things, then make sure your definitions are understood.

There's a ton more I learned, but I know there's a mountain of information waiting for me. Looks like I have some reading to do.

http://www.worldspirituality.org/christian-courtship.html

So about Satan and his Demons...

We have... a supernatural enemy. Christians, we know that we are from God, and the whole world has been influenced by the evil one. People probably forget that:

He's beaten the lives out of innocent people. He desires to tempt the needy into sinning against themselves and against God. He's destroyed marriages and has sexually assaulted every individual that has ever lived. Starved billions of people, causing them to die in their own filth. He's misled young and old minds into his ways. He has raped the world and it's creation at the expense of his wicked ambitions, desiring the manipulation of God's good creation.



Now you may disagree with me, but it seems that the world has absolutely no defenses against the devil. What can politics, the voices of people, and the military do against a force that they cannot see? What about intellectuals, spiritualists, and philosophers? What can they do when an enemy as sharp as Satan comes at their door steps? Worst of all, how will these people recognize Satan or his demons when they come?

Let's also consider the fact that these beings are so powerful that they can influence things on a whole 'nother dimension. The supernatural (them) can influence the natural (us). It doesn't work the other way around. Our "natural" can't really do much of anything to the "supernatural." These "things" are waiting for an opportunity to vent their anger out on us. They desire to hurt us, to see us suffer in light of the cross, and they are always there, around us. It's like some invisible black beast looming over all of us, checking our every move, waiting for even the smallest sliver of room so that it can squeeze a finger into our lives. They hate us, they want to see us in pain. Their ultimate goal is to lead us away from the God of life. If you are saved, then I think it's safe to say that their goals change. Concerning a saved person, they will want to make you as ineffective as possible.

The Bible says', "Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. Resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same kinds of suffering are being experienced by your brotherhood throughout the world."
~1 Peter 5:8-9

Thankfully there is a loophole. God has blocked Satan and his demons to only go so far.

In the first chapter in the book of Job, Satan desires to hurt Job, a man God called righteous. You'll note that God allows Satan to hurt Job, however, God only allows Satan to go so far. God limits Satan's ability to do harm. In other words, there is no God Vs. Satan. From the very beginning Satan lost. Lucifer has always been in submission to God, even though he hates God.

As I've said, the world has absolutely no defense against this supernatural power of the devil. The only thing that is helpful is the Word of God. Jesus Christ, God, is the only force that holds everything together. With out God sustaining everything, you can only imagine the rampant destruction that Satan would inflict.

Satan rules, absolutely except where God's providence restrains him, everywhere. No body knows what mercy they are enjoying when the sun comes up.

Any comments or thoughts? Post below!

Naked wrestler nearly broke my bones!

I have a friend, let's call him Bruce, and he unintentionally taught me a lesson about anger. He was a big man as far as large muscular men go and he was with me on a missions trip. He's a great guy and he knows how to encourage people, plus he's funny. There was one particular thing he personally struggled with and I was able to learn about it first hand in a very scary way.

Little did I know, one of Bruce's pet peeves involved getting pranked upon. In all honesty, I think I was warned very early on when I got to know everybody. I guess I forgot somewhere down the road.

After a hot sweaty day at our job, Bruce and I talked about my lack of coolness. I was tense in those early weeks, and Bruce knew it. He suggested that I relax a little and loosen up. Since I knew he was right, I agreed. Later that afternoon while Bruce was in the shower, I decided to play a little trick on him. I was in that mode of relaxation, plus I wanted to let him know that I was fine.

I took a small cup and poured in cool water, filling it to the brim. Bruce's close friend curiously watched as I turned, walking slowly toward the bathroom toward Bruce. His eye brows shot up as he finally connected the dots. With a look of worry and warning in his eye's, he said in a distressed yet silent slow voice, "Noooo...!"

With a small mischievous smirk, I ignored his warning and silently approached the bathroom. As I turned the corner into the hallway, Bruce's friend again warned me, to which I once more ignored. As I turned into the bathroom, Bruce's friend tried one last attempt to save me from coming destruction. "Don't do it," he simply said.

"Don't do what?" said a voice from the bath tub. It really seemed like all things stopped. All I knew was that there was water showering down behind that curtain and my cup held hand raising above my head, toward Bruce. I calculated where Bruce's head might have been, and as soon as I said, "Heh,", I turned me hand to let cold water stream onto Bruce.

Unfortunately, only half of the water came out. All in one motion with brutal speed, Bruce's hand snatched the wrist hanging above his head, and with the other hand flung open the curtain. Before me was a raging man, with red blood shot eyes. I panicked, realizing the danger I had so foolishly put myself in. I wriggled my wrist free from Bruce's wet hand and ran out of the bathroom falling into the hallway. I was almost laughing because it's not every day where you see a naked man expose himself to you.

While struggling to get up from the floor, I witnessed a horrific sight. To my great regret and intense fear, Bruce jumped out of the tub onto both legs and bolted toward me in anger. This was the snap shot moment where I realized that there was a very angry, very big, very wet, very naked wrestler trying to run me down. If he got his hands on me, he could very well break some bones. In nightmarish panic, I ran through the kitchen into the living room with speed I didn't think I was capable of. As my hand touched the door knob to the world outside, I dared to glimpse back, in hopes that Bruce would not come raging at me. The only thing I witnessed and heard was a loud explosion in the kitchen. Papers were flying, chairs seemed to move on their own, and the fan on the table was bouncing on the floor by the refrigerator.

I didn't care at that moment, I just wanted to run where I'd be safe. I flung open the door and ran down the flight of steps in three great jumps. Landing on the grass, I hyper-flexed my left knee. I wasn't able to get up, but at least I was safe. I laughed at my excitement as I realized that I practically brushed against death. Ha!

Bruce's friend cautiously walked down the same steps. He said, "Bruce is mad at you. You better go up and apologize." I remarked, "Sure, just gimmie a minute. I think I really busted my leg. I can't get up..." Slowly as a turtle knowing he'll finish his race, I got up and walked up those stairs, back into the building. I gently opened the door as to not startle Bruce. Thankfully, Bruce was not waiting for me. The house seemed Vacant. I looked at the clutter in the kitchen. Along with papers, chairs, and a broken fan, water from some pitcher had splashed onto everything, covering a good portion of the floor.

If I remember correctly, I think I called for Bruce, hoping (or not hoping) that he was around. Since I didn't hear a reply, I began cleaning the kitchen. First drying the water, then propping the chairs up, throwing away useless paper, and fixing the fan. At some point, Bruce quickly walked out of his room and went outside toward the back door. As I continued cleaning, I realized that he had tried to stop when he was running after me. Some of the water that was on the ground was actually from him. He slid from under his wet feet and flew into the kitchen table, cutting his ankle. He obviously didn't want to talk to me, so I genuinely felt bad for him. I feared that I had damaged the friendship we had built.

A young friendship must be nurtured, like a sapling. It needs to be cared for by both sun and water. If one of those two things are missing, the sapling will die. The same concept applies to all friendships. Both people must be involved for the friendship to grow! Friendships that last, even when friends are apart, are strong because the friendship was continuously fed and strengthened by both people. Personally, some of my closest friends are literally hundreds of miles away. A strong friendship, like a strong tree, can go longer with out the tending of water and sun. It's harder to sustain a sapling friendship, because it's a weak thing. It doesn't take much to kill it.

Later throughout the day, Bruce and I ignored each other. Like a coward, I texted him, asking, "Hey man, do you wanna talk?" He eventually said, "Yeah, but not through texting."So we met in his room. He apologized to me, saying that he over reacted. He said that he knew he told me that I needed to loosen up earlier that day. He knew I was just having a little fun. Bruce acknowledged that he didn't know what came over him. We both apologized, hugged it out and continued to be friends. No resentment, no anger, and no bitterness. We forgave each other on the spot.

Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.
~James 1:19-20

Anger is something I struggle with, but it is contained in my self. I rarely let it out. Some of you ask, "How is that possible? Wouldn't you like, blow up or something?" Well, yes I would blow eventually. But that is rare because I let it out when I pray. If I'm seriously angry about something, I talk to God about it. There is something about talking to God that really calms me down. I let him take care of it and my heart feels lighter because of it. Like the passage above say's, you have to really try to hear the other person out, be careful with your words, and at all costs, try to control your anger.

Anger, if not contained in the right form, can take control of us. I was sure that if Bruce got his hands on me, then I would be in some terrible trouble. Thankfully the Lord looked after both of us. :)

If you have any comments, be sure the post!

If your brother sins against you (part 2)

The last time I talked to you guys, I told you that I had to confront a man based off of Matthew 18:15. I will break down the conversation, but I will not reveal his name. Instead I will use a fake one to protect his identity. :)

Mr. Turner had called me early in the morning, informing me of a heavy schedule he had before him for the rest of the week. He said that he would rather talk on the phone about this. Even though I don't like the idea, I accepted simply because he was generous enough to speak with me. The reason I don't like using phones for things like this is because both people cannot tell how one is reacting to each others' statements. But if a phone was the best I was given, then I would gladly take it.

I was afraid, and still upset. Later that afternoon when I got the chance, I began telling Mr. Turner that I was glad that he was willing to listen to me. I started by letting him know that when I say these things, that I am probably at fault in one way or another. I thought it was wise to let him know that I was being vulnerable to him. The last thing you want to do is give the other person the impression that you want to verbally attack or hurt them. That's very dangerous because it only makes the situation worse.

He seemed understanding and we talked for the next twenty minutes about ourselves and our points of views. It was actually quite enlightening because I learned something about myself that I didn't know.

I can be too sensitive to certain things. I was surprised at this. It's not usual when a man you barely know tells you this. But I had to agree with him.

I started to realize that normally, when guys my age "attack", I don't let it bother me. But for some strange reason, which was beyond me, Mr. Turners comments had hurt me. Was it because those were comments coming from an older person that gave the comments a funny tone, or was it something else? Maybe since he was an older man, I expected better from him. But either way, he was right about me being a tad bit too sensitive on these offenses.

The nice thing was that he acknowledged some of his faults as well. He is aware that sometimes he can really say some things that might come off the wrong way. I'll just have to let things roll off my back when I talk with him. I won't consider it his fault. :)

I've begun to learn that Mr. Turner is one very interesting man. His ways are slightly different than the average person. His ways of handling things and some of his philosophies are (according to others), a little strange. But I find it intriguing in an interesting way. As far as I know, I don't plan on becoming close friends with him, but I won't stop talking to him every now and then either... He seems like a pretty sincere man and he's a valuable source of information when it comes to the Bible.

Now I want to make one thing clear to you guys. Going to someone based off of Matthew 18:15 doesn't mean, "Geez, I want to be best buds with this person." The actual point of this passage is to have reconciliation between you and the offender. If you two become best buds afterwords, then fine, let it happen. But as long as there is reconciliation between you and that person, then things are good.

Please note, Mr. Turner never apologized for some of the assumptions he made against me, and he made me feel like a wimp (Just a little bit hahaha), but quarreling over stupid little things like that isn't going to help the situation. So what if the offender forgot to apologize something? To me, he made his intentions clear enough for me to realize that he harbored no resentment toward me, and that's all that mattered. My intentions were not to argue and persuade him why I think he needs to "change". I'm not going to argue over the way he handles his family or anything like that. It would be pointless because I can't change his mind. That's ultimately something that the Lord will take care of. I don't need to worry about that. For all I know, he probably handles his family just fine. That is a matter that is simply non of my business.

In the end, I hold nothing against him. He seems very sincere and he's just looking out for his family. We both apologized for our actions and we both forgave each other. Now I don't fear seeing him and I wont think, "Oh Gosh, what's he gonna do this time?" between me and him, everything seems pretty good. :)

I don't care about the nit-picky little things. In fact, I'm convinced Satan will constantly bug me over these trivial issues. But I'll just remind myself that it's not that big of a deal. The last thing I need is for Satan to just confuse me over a small matter. There's no need to make a mountain out of a mole hill. :)

If your brother sins against you (Part 1)

The body of Christ truly is a beautiful thing. It's unity brought out some of the best and most memorable experiences I have ever had. A church that is united together through the strands of brothers and sisters following the Bible and enjoying God can hardly be looked at as a "dead church." Of course there is a bad side to the coin.

When people make mistakes against each other (and they will, eventually), the pain that is generated is magnified incredibly! The victim senses the severing of emotions, and it hurts! Some of my most troubling experiences have been in the context of the body of Christ. We live in a fallen world, and things like this happen. No matter what the attack, intentional or unintentional, Jesus places a specific command designed to create a healing and bonding process between the attacker and victim.

Before I continue, perhaps it would be good for you to understand one thing: These verses are among the most ignored in all of Christianity. These are the most broken commands, and the most over looked, simply because they challenge people to do something unthinkable. I personally hate conflict, which is why this is the hardest thing in the world for me to do. As far as difficulty for me, Evangelism is a cake walk compared to this.

"If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have^" gained your brother. But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector."
~ Matthew 18:15-17

Needless to say, I don't think many Christians ever do this.

A lot of Christians like to try to rationalize a person's actions. "Oh, they didn't mean it that way. That's not a sin so I don't need to talk to him about it..." Yet they begin to harbor up some sort of resentment against that Christian, weakening the church and Body of Christ.

Mark Roberts, a Pastor, said it pretty good, "I cannot tell you how many times I've seen a Christian sister hurt another sister inadvertently. The victim, though truly hurt, doesn't want to engage in awkward and risky confrontation, so she chooses instead to try to ignore the offense. But the hurt in her heart is real. So she ends up building a wall of resentment and protection between herself and the one who hurt her."

That's pretty dangerous. Even if your not sure if it's sin, you should at least talk to the person about what they did. Whether it was on purpose or not, their actions or words hurt your relationship with that person. If there was no relationship with that person, then consider the fact that resentment towards other people weakens the church.

As for myself, I have to talk to a certain person. My aim in conversing with this man is to build reconciliation between him and I. I don't want to resent him any longer, and I don't want his view of me to be misplaced in the wrong light. Who knows, maybe I hurt him somehow. I will ask when I meet him. I really want to follow what I believe, and even though the whole world say's , "Ignore him Jorge, your getting too confrontational. You'll only agitate those people more..."I will do it, simply because Jesus commands it.

I trust that Jesus will be with me, and I am hoping for reconciliation with that man. I'm doing this out of love, and I am not going to grind anything in my words. While there, I only hope God halts me before I say anything stupid. Things have been so misunderstood and now I have an opportunity to follow scripture and do things right for once. I will not bend and listen to the world in these matters of confrontation.

I did this to a friend a few years ago. She was incredibly thankful afterwords, and that even helped create a friendship that I really enjoyed. It was a rare friendship for the summer. For the next few weeks as I got to know her, I found that she had grown tremendously, and I enjoyed watching her grow. Jesus' words and teachings actually unfolded before me, and I loved seeing the results. It brought me and her incredible joy. To this day I still greatly respect her. :)

I had to do it again about a month ago, but I failed to do it right. The person had no idea what I wanted to talk with them about, so they became defensive. I should have told them it had to do with Matthew 18:15... maybe they would have actually listened... Believe it or not, the face-to-face conversation never happened. I made the mistake of doing it over email. That was a bad move on my part. I never knew if any reconciliation happened, nor do I know if the person ever read it. That's why Jesus said, "Go". He didn't say, "Send a letter" or anything like that. If I can go to the person in a face-to-face conversation, then it should happen.

So I'm going to "go" and confront this man, with humbleness and a sincere heart. Quite honestly I'm scared. He can literally destroy my life if he wanted to. Since I had a pretty bad run with a close person to him (which I will not share), he probably doesn't view me in the greatest light. If he wanted to, or if there was a bad misunderstanding, he can literally get a restraining order on me. That would destroy my future in Ministry, and it would haunt me for the rest of my entire life.

But

Since Jesus commands it, then I'll do it. I will lay down my future for Him and follow. I'm willing to sacrifice so much for the Unity of our church. I don't want to ignore it and then have it haunt me for the next few years. I will be a man of God and I will initiate if I have to. I just called him only yesterday to set up a time to meet him, and I found myself trembling. My chest was shaking. It's about time I start doing some pretty hard things. Jesus didn't die to have his church broken.

I'll update this when I speak with the man in part 2...

Tough Situations

I often find that there are times where I'm in a really tough spot. Sometimes people think ill of you, and you simply don't know why (and sometimes it's the other way around). Other times the circumstances are so overwhelming that you wonder, "How did it come to this?!"

Maybe you try to make things right, and when you make the attempt... well, it just ends up looking like a mess. Then you say, "Well... I tried."

If I wanted to, I could lazily look over my shoulder at the behemoths that taunt me. These problems come and go in groups for me. Some groups are bigger than others. These problems are weighing heavily on me and I'm not sure if I can continue trying to fix them all. In fact, I think I'd better throw in the towel. I can't fix everything with my own efforts. People will think what they want against me, but they'll never fully understand the whole story. I can't help them if they refuse to listen.

I've got a few things to tackle and pray through. Well, actually there are about five things. But I'm not going to spill everything out because that's personal. But what I can do is tell you things on a very vague level. This way, you can still pray for me if you wish.

-Family
-Friends
-Personal Life
-Schooling
-Ministry

I'll open up just a little bit about one of the five things. Today I will have to make some big steps being an older brother. This is something I was never very good at. But I have found it to be very gratifying when I reach out for my sisters. It's natural I guess. Our family was never really that close to begin with (at least that's what I think), but it still hurts when your family is being torn apart before your eyes.

Today I'm going to try to go out and spend some time with my sister's boyfriend. I'll ask him some questions that might put him on the spot. I'll probably even make him feel a little bit guilty... "So this home of yours...", "Do you really think this is best for my sister?", "If you really loved her, wouldn't you want her to be in a place that's safer?", etc.

But my aim is not to scare him or threaten him. Tactful in word, I need to some how enable him to understand the gravity and weightiness of the circumstances he's in. He's a 19 year old boy trying to make giant steps in a relationship with my sister. Now I think I'm beginning to understand how a father might feel when a young man attempts to see his daughter. It must be a scary feeling and I know a brother-sister and father-daughter relationship is not the same. I also know that those two groups share a certain bond that hurts when stretched or possibly breaks.

I'm praying that things go well tonight.