Sacrificial love (in a small way this time)

There's always an opportunity to share Gods love. Even in the waking hours of the morning.

I was working at my job all night and I looked forward to getting home for some sleep. I stopped by the bank to deposit my check and filled up on gas and drove home. It was 6 AM, the butt-crack of dawn.

As usual, I always check my Facebook just before I go to bed. Ironically, there just happened to be my friend from around the world who conveniently began chatting with me.

She began with, "How are you doing?" along with other general ice breakers. With that, she began asking questions about my faith and about my stance on certain issues. Now let me explain something here. I'm tired, and I really want to go to bed. After lifting boxes all night, my bed was feeling really comfortable. But I realized that I was being extremely selfish. This was a golden opportunity! This person wants to know stuff about God, and I have answers! The only thing holding me back from showing her Gods love were my selfish sleepy desires.

So as tired as I was, I happily answered her many questions. Was I exhausted? You bet. But did I enjoy it? Absolutely. I slept happily that morning. :)

There is a joy that I get when I am involved in Ministry. I just need a different job so that I can be more free to get into it. Ha!

She said, "Don't force me! Such a thing should not be done..."

"...But he would not listen to her, and being stronger than she, he violated her and lay with her."

Those are some pretty strong words right there, but that's exactly what this guy did. While King David was still alive, his oldest son Amnon took fancy to his half-sister, Tamar. The law back then condemns such vile things; 'Do not have sexual relations with the daughter of your father's wife, born to your father; she is your sister', (Lev. 18:11). Now as disgusting and ridiculous as this is, Amnon apparently thought it'd be fine to trick her into thinking he was bed-ridden.

Basically the story goes down like this: Amnon goes crazy over his half-sister, Tamar. So he basically tricks her into thinking that he's ill. So she's doing the nice sister thing by baking him food. As soon as she comes to feed him, he grabs hold of her and basically say's that he wants to sleep with her. She starts to protest because she doesn't want that kind of icky relationship (what girl would?). Amnon ignores her and then rapes her... But it doesn't end there. After he's had his way with her, he say's in anger, "Get up! Go!" To which she replied, "No, my brother! Sending me away like this is worse than what you just did to me!"

Now here's a little background to fill in the details: In Israeli law (back then), if you raped a virgin woman, then you were responsible for her well being in one way or another.

If a man seduces a virgin who is not pledged to be married and sleeps with her, he must pay the bride-price, and she shall be his wife. If her father absolutely refuses to give her to him, he must still pay the bride-price for virgins. (Exodus 22:16-17)

I get the feeling that King David wouldn't have given Tamar over to the brother who just raped her. So even though King David wouldn't have given his daughter to a brother/rapist, Amnon would have to still pay the bride price anyway.

The reason why this story irked me so badly was because Amnon was going to throw Tamar out like Garbage, which would have only deepened the blade in her wounds. One thing I learned from this story is this:

-Don't have sexual relations with any relatives (Obviously, that's just disgusting)
-If you make a big mistake, deal with it. Don't try to throw it away as if it didn't have any value.
-If you destroy a persons life, do the best you can with the situation (especially if the person you hurt is willing to reason with you!)

When you make a mess, you have to own up to it and do your best to clean it. Take some responsibility!

Eventually Tamar's brother kills Amnon, most likely out of revenge for what he did to his sister. So I guess he got what he deserved. Good riddance. King David didn't need an incestuous rapist in his palace anyways.

*Story is found in 2 Samuel chapter 13

The Concerned Captain and the Zealous General

I actually planned on writing this up a few weeks ago, but other topics tend to get in the way. So to all you reading this, here's a story about two people who are trying to figure out how to deal with "the enemy." Learn something from this, because I learned from it personally.

There was one particular Captain in the middle of a war. He and his men believed with all their hearts that they were fighting for a great cause. Morale was dwindling and the situation seemed dire. The captain had only been in a few battles, but none were as bad as this. He decided to call the General to seek assistance. The Captain, now aware, realized that the enemy were only a few hundred miles away. He believed that without help, the battle would be lost! The Captain asked for instruction, leadership, assistance. He needed direction! Surely the General, a higher ranking official would know what to do!

Now the General was a passionate man. He cared for the Captain and his men. So in zeal, he said to the Captain, "Don't worry, I'll handle it!" The General quickly drove to the Captains location and reassured him saying, "I'll take care of these enemies. You have nothing to fear! Give me all your men and I'll take care of this."

The Captain knew the landscape much better than the General. The Captain also knew the conditions of battle better than this General would ever know. The number of supplies, the number and condition of the enemy were also only the Captains'. However, the zeal of the General was too great, so the Captain, dismayed by the battle, let the higher ranking General take control. You can only imagine how that battle turned out...

We all make foolish decisions. Sometimes we're the General. We think we know the situation well enough and then foolishly jump into action. Rather than scan the predicament, we just run and shoot. It's almost as though we're arrogant enough to believe that we always know what we're doing, even if we only know the half of it. Personally, people who act like this hit my pet peeve. But unfortunately, there are times where I'm like this.

Sometimes we're Captains who are scared. We might feel a little pushed by the "enemy." We're willing to get help anywhere it comes. Captains (as far as this example shows) are willing to find a good solution, but lack the backbone to say "No, this is my battle, let me do it. I just need your advise, that's all."

If your in a tight spot and you need help, don't be a fool and allow someone to fix your problem if they couldn't possibly understand the situation (even if they think they do!). Don't just give your problems to people, but go through them yourself. If you need help and advice, then that's fine. Listen to people you look up too, but don't let them do the dirty work for you! You will miss out on the experience you will need when the next battle comes your way.

If your being a "General", then I would advise you to at least think before you make a fool of yourself. Stepping out into a problem and making an attempt to "fix" it would likely result in false success. The last kind of General you want to be is the one who thinks they did an awesome job when in fact, they did more damage than anything. Surly that would be embarrassing.

You'd be more informed if you just went to the problem yourself to figure out why the "enemy" is even fighting in the first place. Who knows, maybe you and the Captain are totally misunderstanding the whole thing!

You'll miss out a lot if you just let people deal with your garbage. One day when you don't have your "general" around, you'll probably get stuck not knowing how to best handle the situation. You might end up trying to fix your problem, but because of the lack of experience, you won't do a good job at it. Learn now while you can.

This happens all the time. In marriages, school, at work, in church, between friends and family, social clubs and groups. Basically, you'll encounter this problem in every social sphere you'll ever be engaged in. If your a Christian and you have a problem with some other Christian who's wronged you, follow Matthew 18:15. If your not a Christian, then I'd also advise you to do the same thing. Don't let resentfulness and bitterness sit in your heart. It's a self torturing experience.

Grow a backbone, pray, then proceed with the advice of elders, friends, parents, and scripture. Don't be a chicken and let some one fight your battles for you.

(additional info: Obviously don't follow this advise if your a little kid. For example, if your under 18 and some creeper dude tries to do weird nasty things to you, then don't go to him to "talk it out", lol. Call the cops and let them handle it. This blog is aimed at adults, obviously)

Naked wrestler nearly broke my bones!

I have a friend, let's call him Bruce, and he unintentionally taught me a lesson about anger. He was a big man as far as large muscular men go and he was with me on a missions trip. He's a great guy and he knows how to encourage people, plus he's funny. There was one particular thing he personally struggled with and I was able to learn about it first hand in a very scary way.

Little did I know, one of Bruce's pet peeves involved getting pranked upon. In all honesty, I think I was warned very early on when I got to know everybody. I guess I forgot somewhere down the road.

After a hot sweaty day at our job, Bruce and I talked about my lack of coolness. I was tense in those early weeks, and Bruce knew it. He suggested that I relax a little and loosen up. Since I knew he was right, I agreed. Later that afternoon while Bruce was in the shower, I decided to play a little trick on him. I was in that mode of relaxation, plus I wanted to let him know that I was fine.

I took a small cup and poured in cool water, filling it to the brim. Bruce's close friend curiously watched as I turned, walking slowly toward the bathroom toward Bruce. His eye brows shot up as he finally connected the dots. With a look of worry and warning in his eye's, he said in a distressed yet silent slow voice, "Noooo...!"

With a small mischievous smirk, I ignored his warning and silently approached the bathroom. As I turned the corner into the hallway, Bruce's friend again warned me, to which I once more ignored. As I turned into the bathroom, Bruce's friend tried one last attempt to save me from coming destruction. "Don't do it," he simply said.

"Don't do what?" said a voice from the bath tub. It really seemed like all things stopped. All I knew was that there was water showering down behind that curtain and my cup held hand raising above my head, toward Bruce. I calculated where Bruce's head might have been, and as soon as I said, "Heh,", I turned me hand to let cold water stream onto Bruce.

Unfortunately, only half of the water came out. All in one motion with brutal speed, Bruce's hand snatched the wrist hanging above his head, and with the other hand flung open the curtain. Before me was a raging man, with red blood shot eyes. I panicked, realizing the danger I had so foolishly put myself in. I wriggled my wrist free from Bruce's wet hand and ran out of the bathroom falling into the hallway. I was almost laughing because it's not every day where you see a naked man expose himself to you.

While struggling to get up from the floor, I witnessed a horrific sight. To my great regret and intense fear, Bruce jumped out of the tub onto both legs and bolted toward me in anger. This was the snap shot moment where I realized that there was a very angry, very big, very wet, very naked wrestler trying to run me down. If he got his hands on me, he could very well break some bones. In nightmarish panic, I ran through the kitchen into the living room with speed I didn't think I was capable of. As my hand touched the door knob to the world outside, I dared to glimpse back, in hopes that Bruce would not come raging at me. The only thing I witnessed and heard was a loud explosion in the kitchen. Papers were flying, chairs seemed to move on their own, and the fan on the table was bouncing on the floor by the refrigerator.

I didn't care at that moment, I just wanted to run where I'd be safe. I flung open the door and ran down the flight of steps in three great jumps. Landing on the grass, I hyper-flexed my left knee. I wasn't able to get up, but at least I was safe. I laughed at my excitement as I realized that I practically brushed against death. Ha!

Bruce's friend cautiously walked down the same steps. He said, "Bruce is mad at you. You better go up and apologize." I remarked, "Sure, just gimmie a minute. I think I really busted my leg. I can't get up..." Slowly as a turtle knowing he'll finish his race, I got up and walked up those stairs, back into the building. I gently opened the door as to not startle Bruce. Thankfully, Bruce was not waiting for me. The house seemed Vacant. I looked at the clutter in the kitchen. Along with papers, chairs, and a broken fan, water from some pitcher had splashed onto everything, covering a good portion of the floor.

If I remember correctly, I think I called for Bruce, hoping (or not hoping) that he was around. Since I didn't hear a reply, I began cleaning the kitchen. First drying the water, then propping the chairs up, throwing away useless paper, and fixing the fan. At some point, Bruce quickly walked out of his room and went outside toward the back door. As I continued cleaning, I realized that he had tried to stop when he was running after me. Some of the water that was on the ground was actually from him. He slid from under his wet feet and flew into the kitchen table, cutting his ankle. He obviously didn't want to talk to me, so I genuinely felt bad for him. I feared that I had damaged the friendship we had built.

A young friendship must be nurtured, like a sapling. It needs to be cared for by both sun and water. If one of those two things are missing, the sapling will die. The same concept applies to all friendships. Both people must be involved for the friendship to grow! Friendships that last, even when friends are apart, are strong because the friendship was continuously fed and strengthened by both people. Personally, some of my closest friends are literally hundreds of miles away. A strong friendship, like a strong tree, can go longer with out the tending of water and sun. It's harder to sustain a sapling friendship, because it's a weak thing. It doesn't take much to kill it.

Later throughout the day, Bruce and I ignored each other. Like a coward, I texted him, asking, "Hey man, do you wanna talk?" He eventually said, "Yeah, but not through texting."So we met in his room. He apologized to me, saying that he over reacted. He said that he knew he told me that I needed to loosen up earlier that day. He knew I was just having a little fun. Bruce acknowledged that he didn't know what came over him. We both apologized, hugged it out and continued to be friends. No resentment, no anger, and no bitterness. We forgave each other on the spot.

Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.
~James 1:19-20

Anger is something I struggle with, but it is contained in my self. I rarely let it out. Some of you ask, "How is that possible? Wouldn't you like, blow up or something?" Well, yes I would blow eventually. But that is rare because I let it out when I pray. If I'm seriously angry about something, I talk to God about it. There is something about talking to God that really calms me down. I let him take care of it and my heart feels lighter because of it. Like the passage above say's, you have to really try to hear the other person out, be careful with your words, and at all costs, try to control your anger.

Anger, if not contained in the right form, can take control of us. I was sure that if Bruce got his hands on me, then I would be in some terrible trouble. Thankfully the Lord looked after both of us. :)

If you have any comments, be sure the post!

If your brother sins against you (part 2)

The last time I talked to you guys, I told you that I had to confront a man based off of Matthew 18:15. I will break down the conversation, but I will not reveal his name. Instead I will use a fake one to protect his identity. :)

Mr. Turner had called me early in the morning, informing me of a heavy schedule he had before him for the rest of the week. He said that he would rather talk on the phone about this. Even though I don't like the idea, I accepted simply because he was generous enough to speak with me. The reason I don't like using phones for things like this is because both people cannot tell how one is reacting to each others' statements. But if a phone was the best I was given, then I would gladly take it.

I was afraid, and still upset. Later that afternoon when I got the chance, I began telling Mr. Turner that I was glad that he was willing to listen to me. I started by letting him know that when I say these things, that I am probably at fault in one way or another. I thought it was wise to let him know that I was being vulnerable to him. The last thing you want to do is give the other person the impression that you want to verbally attack or hurt them. That's very dangerous because it only makes the situation worse.

He seemed understanding and we talked for the next twenty minutes about ourselves and our points of views. It was actually quite enlightening because I learned something about myself that I didn't know.

I can be too sensitive to certain things. I was surprised at this. It's not usual when a man you barely know tells you this. But I had to agree with him.

I started to realize that normally, when guys my age "attack", I don't let it bother me. But for some strange reason, which was beyond me, Mr. Turners comments had hurt me. Was it because those were comments coming from an older person that gave the comments a funny tone, or was it something else? Maybe since he was an older man, I expected better from him. But either way, he was right about me being a tad bit too sensitive on these offenses.

The nice thing was that he acknowledged some of his faults as well. He is aware that sometimes he can really say some things that might come off the wrong way. I'll just have to let things roll off my back when I talk with him. I won't consider it his fault. :)

I've begun to learn that Mr. Turner is one very interesting man. His ways are slightly different than the average person. His ways of handling things and some of his philosophies are (according to others), a little strange. But I find it intriguing in an interesting way. As far as I know, I don't plan on becoming close friends with him, but I won't stop talking to him every now and then either... He seems like a pretty sincere man and he's a valuable source of information when it comes to the Bible.

Now I want to make one thing clear to you guys. Going to someone based off of Matthew 18:15 doesn't mean, "Geez, I want to be best buds with this person." The actual point of this passage is to have reconciliation between you and the offender. If you two become best buds afterwords, then fine, let it happen. But as long as there is reconciliation between you and that person, then things are good.

Please note, Mr. Turner never apologized for some of the assumptions he made against me, and he made me feel like a wimp (Just a little bit hahaha), but quarreling over stupid little things like that isn't going to help the situation. So what if the offender forgot to apologize something? To me, he made his intentions clear enough for me to realize that he harbored no resentment toward me, and that's all that mattered. My intentions were not to argue and persuade him why I think he needs to "change". I'm not going to argue over the way he handles his family or anything like that. It would be pointless because I can't change his mind. That's ultimately something that the Lord will take care of. I don't need to worry about that. For all I know, he probably handles his family just fine. That is a matter that is simply non of my business.

In the end, I hold nothing against him. He seems very sincere and he's just looking out for his family. We both apologized for our actions and we both forgave each other. Now I don't fear seeing him and I wont think, "Oh Gosh, what's he gonna do this time?" between me and him, everything seems pretty good. :)

I don't care about the nit-picky little things. In fact, I'm convinced Satan will constantly bug me over these trivial issues. But I'll just remind myself that it's not that big of a deal. The last thing I need is for Satan to just confuse me over a small matter. There's no need to make a mountain out of a mole hill. :)

If your brother sins against you (Part 1)

The body of Christ truly is a beautiful thing. It's unity brought out some of the best and most memorable experiences I have ever had. A church that is united together through the strands of brothers and sisters following the Bible and enjoying God can hardly be looked at as a "dead church." Of course there is a bad side to the coin.

When people make mistakes against each other (and they will, eventually), the pain that is generated is magnified incredibly! The victim senses the severing of emotions, and it hurts! Some of my most troubling experiences have been in the context of the body of Christ. We live in a fallen world, and things like this happen. No matter what the attack, intentional or unintentional, Jesus places a specific command designed to create a healing and bonding process between the attacker and victim.

Before I continue, perhaps it would be good for you to understand one thing: These verses are among the most ignored in all of Christianity. These are the most broken commands, and the most over looked, simply because they challenge people to do something unthinkable. I personally hate conflict, which is why this is the hardest thing in the world for me to do. As far as difficulty for me, Evangelism is a cake walk compared to this.

"If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have^" gained your brother. But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector."
~ Matthew 18:15-17

Needless to say, I don't think many Christians ever do this.

A lot of Christians like to try to rationalize a person's actions. "Oh, they didn't mean it that way. That's not a sin so I don't need to talk to him about it..." Yet they begin to harbor up some sort of resentment against that Christian, weakening the church and Body of Christ.

Mark Roberts, a Pastor, said it pretty good, "I cannot tell you how many times I've seen a Christian sister hurt another sister inadvertently. The victim, though truly hurt, doesn't want to engage in awkward and risky confrontation, so she chooses instead to try to ignore the offense. But the hurt in her heart is real. So she ends up building a wall of resentment and protection between herself and the one who hurt her."

That's pretty dangerous. Even if your not sure if it's sin, you should at least talk to the person about what they did. Whether it was on purpose or not, their actions or words hurt your relationship with that person. If there was no relationship with that person, then consider the fact that resentment towards other people weakens the church.

As for myself, I have to talk to a certain person. My aim in conversing with this man is to build reconciliation between him and I. I don't want to resent him any longer, and I don't want his view of me to be misplaced in the wrong light. Who knows, maybe I hurt him somehow. I will ask when I meet him. I really want to follow what I believe, and even though the whole world say's , "Ignore him Jorge, your getting too confrontational. You'll only agitate those people more..."I will do it, simply because Jesus commands it.

I trust that Jesus will be with me, and I am hoping for reconciliation with that man. I'm doing this out of love, and I am not going to grind anything in my words. While there, I only hope God halts me before I say anything stupid. Things have been so misunderstood and now I have an opportunity to follow scripture and do things right for once. I will not bend and listen to the world in these matters of confrontation.

I did this to a friend a few years ago. She was incredibly thankful afterwords, and that even helped create a friendship that I really enjoyed. It was a rare friendship for the summer. For the next few weeks as I got to know her, I found that she had grown tremendously, and I enjoyed watching her grow. Jesus' words and teachings actually unfolded before me, and I loved seeing the results. It brought me and her incredible joy. To this day I still greatly respect her. :)

I had to do it again about a month ago, but I failed to do it right. The person had no idea what I wanted to talk with them about, so they became defensive. I should have told them it had to do with Matthew 18:15... maybe they would have actually listened... Believe it or not, the face-to-face conversation never happened. I made the mistake of doing it over email. That was a bad move on my part. I never knew if any reconciliation happened, nor do I know if the person ever read it. That's why Jesus said, "Go". He didn't say, "Send a letter" or anything like that. If I can go to the person in a face-to-face conversation, then it should happen.

So I'm going to "go" and confront this man, with humbleness and a sincere heart. Quite honestly I'm scared. He can literally destroy my life if he wanted to. Since I had a pretty bad run with a close person to him (which I will not share), he probably doesn't view me in the greatest light. If he wanted to, or if there was a bad misunderstanding, he can literally get a restraining order on me. That would destroy my future in Ministry, and it would haunt me for the rest of my entire life.

But

Since Jesus commands it, then I'll do it. I will lay down my future for Him and follow. I'm willing to sacrifice so much for the Unity of our church. I don't want to ignore it and then have it haunt me for the next few years. I will be a man of God and I will initiate if I have to. I just called him only yesterday to set up a time to meet him, and I found myself trembling. My chest was shaking. It's about time I start doing some pretty hard things. Jesus didn't die to have his church broken.

I'll update this when I speak with the man in part 2...

Tough Situations

I often find that there are times where I'm in a really tough spot. Sometimes people think ill of you, and you simply don't know why (and sometimes it's the other way around). Other times the circumstances are so overwhelming that you wonder, "How did it come to this?!"

Maybe you try to make things right, and when you make the attempt... well, it just ends up looking like a mess. Then you say, "Well... I tried."

If I wanted to, I could lazily look over my shoulder at the behemoths that taunt me. These problems come and go in groups for me. Some groups are bigger than others. These problems are weighing heavily on me and I'm not sure if I can continue trying to fix them all. In fact, I think I'd better throw in the towel. I can't fix everything with my own efforts. People will think what they want against me, but they'll never fully understand the whole story. I can't help them if they refuse to listen.

I've got a few things to tackle and pray through. Well, actually there are about five things. But I'm not going to spill everything out because that's personal. But what I can do is tell you things on a very vague level. This way, you can still pray for me if you wish.

-Family
-Friends
-Personal Life
-Schooling
-Ministry

I'll open up just a little bit about one of the five things. Today I will have to make some big steps being an older brother. This is something I was never very good at. But I have found it to be very gratifying when I reach out for my sisters. It's natural I guess. Our family was never really that close to begin with (at least that's what I think), but it still hurts when your family is being torn apart before your eyes.

Today I'm going to try to go out and spend some time with my sister's boyfriend. I'll ask him some questions that might put him on the spot. I'll probably even make him feel a little bit guilty... "So this home of yours...", "Do you really think this is best for my sister?", "If you really loved her, wouldn't you want her to be in a place that's safer?", etc.

But my aim is not to scare him or threaten him. Tactful in word, I need to some how enable him to understand the gravity and weightiness of the circumstances he's in. He's a 19 year old boy trying to make giant steps in a relationship with my sister. Now I think I'm beginning to understand how a father might feel when a young man attempts to see his daughter. It must be a scary feeling and I know a brother-sister and father-daughter relationship is not the same. I also know that those two groups share a certain bond that hurts when stretched or possibly breaks.

I'm praying that things go well tonight.