Oh man... Here we go. Yet again someone provided me a source or two about "courtship relationships". Sometimes I cringe at the thought, but to be honest with you, I've been getting this nudge inside me saying, "Jorge, you ought to take this seriously. Just do your research, like you always do." Since it's Valentines Day, I figured, "Heck, why not. It's about time I seriously studied this anyways..."
I Googled, "What does Christian Courting look like?"
Apparently there is a different world out there that I seldom ventured. I felt like a foreigner walking through the landscape, taking in new information. It felt like I was rummaging through an old mans dusty trunk stored in some attic, looking for pieces of gold, hoping to find at least something useful. There were no hearts or gift cards. Rather, there were Bible passages. Bits and pieces were coming together forming this picture for me. I felt enlightened, and slightly burdened.
"This is a lot of stuff." That was my first thought. Then I wondered, "Why God? Why is does it seem so complicated? Can't a guy and a girl just get together and be in love, then stay committed together in marriage?"
As I continued, I found that there were specific reasons why such precautions had to exist in courtship relationships. Many of the hows and why's began disappearing as I found my answers. I felt like a child again, learning important truths. I could almost picture it. A Father guiding his son through a mucky marsh, telling him, "Step here", "Don't do that, you'll regret it", "Follow me", "Watch for my lead", "Do as I do."
It's strange that I'm learning all this now. Of all days, why now? Regardless, God has his reasons. I have followed God to this day, and He has never wronged me. In fact, I often find that when I look back, I can see how He had protected me from people, circumstances, and even myself. I find it amazing.
It'll probably take years for me to mostly understand all this. I know I'm not ready for any courting with a girl, and I definitely know that I can't support a family. The idea scares me a bit (but only because I am so far from being ready). But that's alright. The smartest thing to do now is grow in my relationship with Christ. I'll concentrate on that and let Him do the fine tuning on everything. Besides, He knows me better than anyone.
I'm not looking down on people when they decide to go about relationships the dating way. I've known some very happy people who didn't court and got married. What I'm saying is that I don't think that there is only one way. I'm simply choosing it because it seems like the most biblically grounded direction to me, so I'm going to take it. Some people who honestly love the Lord have been put in my path, informing me on "Christian Courtship", and I think I'm going to actually listen and take heart this time. Besides, what's the harm in learning?
Here's one article that I found that was really informative. There were some parts that made me chuckle because I could picture a large old Londoner with a top hat an and eye monocle speaking the very words in this article. Then when I got to the bottom, I coughed up the tea I was drinking. It read, "Written by Charles J. Clarke, London, 1947."
Ok, so maybe Charles J. Clarke was indeed a large old man from London with a top hat and an eye monocle... Either way, it was golden information that I agreed with.
There were some parts that made me grin. This specific portion discussed what a woman should be able to do by the time courtship was permissible:
"The use, of the work-basket is necessary too, as well as so many other aspects of home-making."
In today's world, most girls don't knit baskets, but I get his point.. But I get the point. If you want the link to his article, you'll find that I put it on the bottom of this blog.
I'm beginning to understand why some girls who are brought up this way are the way they are. I've met a few girls who pursue relationships with this approach (I'm not implying that I wanted anything with them), and now I'm suddenly realizing why they were so strange to me. Now it actually seems to make sense because of all this new information. Looking back, I can see where I accidentally and unintentionally over stepped the boundaries they probably placed. Now I feel like a mere school boy who just had an epiphany. If any girls I offended read this years later, then I apologize, lol! :)
Some things I learned:
- A successful courtship ends with either friendship or marriage, there are no regrets.
- What needs to be pointed out is that it is much more than `great fun'. It is one of the most serious issues of your life. During these critical months and years you are choosing your life-partner, and therefore, you are choosing your destiny. You yourself are choosing your own happiness or misery. You are choosing whether the rest of your life is to be lived in the heaven of perpetual `keeping in love' or, may be, in the hell of disharmony and perpetual friction. Other people are not choosing for you. You would be indignant if they attempted to. You insist that this is your choice. And so it is.
- Dating does not necessarily equal "Dirty" unless you make it so. Dictionary.com's definition is pretty vague. Since so many people have different ideas about what "dating" is, then the definition seems relative. For you, dating means "X". For me, it may mean "K". If you and your decided partner want to talk about such things, then make sure your definitions are understood.
There's a ton more I learned, but I know there's a mountain of information waiting for me. Looks like I have some reading to do.
http://www.worldspirituality.org/christian-courtship.html
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