Little Sister

You ever get some day's that seem to roll over really well, even with little effort? (And yes, it's possible!)

Yesterday went better than expected. I got to spend most of the day with my little sister. My mom handed us some cash and we went to the mall to get some supplies like a new pair of shoes (sweet!), and some little trinkets for the little lady who would be with me. Half of the cash went into the new shoes I needed, and the rest went into lunch, my sisters stuff, and a few "little things" that some how added up to $20. Either way, it was great to actually spend some quality time with my sister because it seems like we don't do it much together. She often mentioned that I spend more time with my friends than I do with her, and I'm her only sibling at home now. As much as I didn't want to hear it, she was absolutely right, so it felt really good to spend some one-on-one time with her.

I enjoyed hearing her say, "Thank you" at random moments. It makes a man feel fuzzy on the inside, if that were possible...

The second day was no different. I spent some more time with her at the mall again. This time we didn't do much shopping, and I was thankful for that. I'm at that stage where I'm seriously watching how I spend, which is a good thing I suppose.

We recounted the uselessness of little trinkets in the local Hello Kitty store, considered the recklessness of a man who ran through the walk ways with hands flailing in the air, and observed nature at it's finest with two little puff ball puppies scrapping it out in a play pen. Apparently there was a dispute between them on who would play with the third puppy.

I love those little times where my sister would open up to me with inquisitive questions like, "Teach me more about this stuff...", "Why do some people etc...", I have a friend at school and..." To me, they are the evidence of a young woman growing in the world around her. She's finding her way around, and I plan on helping her do that. I've loved growing closer to her, and I don't plan on stopping.

She said, "Don't force me! Such a thing should not be done..."

"...But he would not listen to her, and being stronger than she, he violated her and lay with her."

Those are some pretty strong words right there, but that's exactly what this guy did. While King David was still alive, his oldest son Amnon took fancy to his half-sister, Tamar. The law back then condemns such vile things; 'Do not have sexual relations with the daughter of your father's wife, born to your father; she is your sister', (Lev. 18:11). Now as disgusting and ridiculous as this is, Amnon apparently thought it'd be fine to trick her into thinking he was bed-ridden.

Basically the story goes down like this: Amnon goes crazy over his half-sister, Tamar. So he basically tricks her into thinking that he's ill. So she's doing the nice sister thing by baking him food. As soon as she comes to feed him, he grabs hold of her and basically say's that he wants to sleep with her. She starts to protest because she doesn't want that kind of icky relationship (what girl would?). Amnon ignores her and then rapes her... But it doesn't end there. After he's had his way with her, he say's in anger, "Get up! Go!" To which she replied, "No, my brother! Sending me away like this is worse than what you just did to me!"

Now here's a little background to fill in the details: In Israeli law (back then), if you raped a virgin woman, then you were responsible for her well being in one way or another.

If a man seduces a virgin who is not pledged to be married and sleeps with her, he must pay the bride-price, and she shall be his wife. If her father absolutely refuses to give her to him, he must still pay the bride-price for virgins. (Exodus 22:16-17)

I get the feeling that King David wouldn't have given Tamar over to the brother who just raped her. So even though King David wouldn't have given his daughter to a brother/rapist, Amnon would have to still pay the bride price anyway.

The reason why this story irked me so badly was because Amnon was going to throw Tamar out like Garbage, which would have only deepened the blade in her wounds. One thing I learned from this story is this:

-Don't have sexual relations with any relatives (Obviously, that's just disgusting)
-If you make a big mistake, deal with it. Don't try to throw it away as if it didn't have any value.
-If you destroy a persons life, do the best you can with the situation (especially if the person you hurt is willing to reason with you!)

When you make a mess, you have to own up to it and do your best to clean it. Take some responsibility!

Eventually Tamar's brother kills Amnon, most likely out of revenge for what he did to his sister. So I guess he got what he deserved. Good riddance. King David didn't need an incestuous rapist in his palace anyways.

*Story is found in 2 Samuel chapter 13

The Concerned Captain and the Zealous General

I actually planned on writing this up a few weeks ago, but other topics tend to get in the way. So to all you reading this, here's a story about two people who are trying to figure out how to deal with "the enemy." Learn something from this, because I learned from it personally.

There was one particular Captain in the middle of a war. He and his men believed with all their hearts that they were fighting for a great cause. Morale was dwindling and the situation seemed dire. The captain had only been in a few battles, but none were as bad as this. He decided to call the General to seek assistance. The Captain, now aware, realized that the enemy were only a few hundred miles away. He believed that without help, the battle would be lost! The Captain asked for instruction, leadership, assistance. He needed direction! Surely the General, a higher ranking official would know what to do!

Now the General was a passionate man. He cared for the Captain and his men. So in zeal, he said to the Captain, "Don't worry, I'll handle it!" The General quickly drove to the Captains location and reassured him saying, "I'll take care of these enemies. You have nothing to fear! Give me all your men and I'll take care of this."

The Captain knew the landscape much better than the General. The Captain also knew the conditions of battle better than this General would ever know. The number of supplies, the number and condition of the enemy were also only the Captains'. However, the zeal of the General was too great, so the Captain, dismayed by the battle, let the higher ranking General take control. You can only imagine how that battle turned out...

We all make foolish decisions. Sometimes we're the General. We think we know the situation well enough and then foolishly jump into action. Rather than scan the predicament, we just run and shoot. It's almost as though we're arrogant enough to believe that we always know what we're doing, even if we only know the half of it. Personally, people who act like this hit my pet peeve. But unfortunately, there are times where I'm like this.

Sometimes we're Captains who are scared. We might feel a little pushed by the "enemy." We're willing to get help anywhere it comes. Captains (as far as this example shows) are willing to find a good solution, but lack the backbone to say "No, this is my battle, let me do it. I just need your advise, that's all."

If your in a tight spot and you need help, don't be a fool and allow someone to fix your problem if they couldn't possibly understand the situation (even if they think they do!). Don't just give your problems to people, but go through them yourself. If you need help and advice, then that's fine. Listen to people you look up too, but don't let them do the dirty work for you! You will miss out on the experience you will need when the next battle comes your way.

If your being a "General", then I would advise you to at least think before you make a fool of yourself. Stepping out into a problem and making an attempt to "fix" it would likely result in false success. The last kind of General you want to be is the one who thinks they did an awesome job when in fact, they did more damage than anything. Surly that would be embarrassing.

You'd be more informed if you just went to the problem yourself to figure out why the "enemy" is even fighting in the first place. Who knows, maybe you and the Captain are totally misunderstanding the whole thing!

You'll miss out a lot if you just let people deal with your garbage. One day when you don't have your "general" around, you'll probably get stuck not knowing how to best handle the situation. You might end up trying to fix your problem, but because of the lack of experience, you won't do a good job at it. Learn now while you can.

This happens all the time. In marriages, school, at work, in church, between friends and family, social clubs and groups. Basically, you'll encounter this problem in every social sphere you'll ever be engaged in. If your a Christian and you have a problem with some other Christian who's wronged you, follow Matthew 18:15. If your not a Christian, then I'd also advise you to do the same thing. Don't let resentfulness and bitterness sit in your heart. It's a self torturing experience.

Grow a backbone, pray, then proceed with the advice of elders, friends, parents, and scripture. Don't be a chicken and let some one fight your battles for you.

(additional info: Obviously don't follow this advise if your a little kid. For example, if your under 18 and some creeper dude tries to do weird nasty things to you, then don't go to him to "talk it out", lol. Call the cops and let them handle it. This blog is aimed at adults, obviously)

Girls are like apples???

My friend sent me a humorous message after he read my last blog. Hope you like it! :D

Girls

are like apples

on trees. The best ones

are at the top of the tree.

The boys don’t want to reach

for the good ones because they

are afraid of falling and getting hurt.

Instead, they just get the rotten apples

from the ground that aren’t as good,

but easy. So the apples at the top think

something is wrong with them, when in

reality, they’re amazing. They just

have to wait for the right boy to

come along, the one who’s

brave enough to

climb all

the way

to the top

of the tree.

My first (serious) look into courtship relationships...

Oh man... Here we go. Yet again someone provided me a source or two about "courtship relationships". Sometimes I cringe at the thought, but to be honest with you, I've been getting this nudge inside me saying, "Jorge, you ought to take this seriously. Just do your research, like you always do." Since it's Valentines Day, I figured, "Heck, why not. It's about time I seriously studied this anyways..."

I Googled, "What does Christian Courting look like?"

Apparently there is a different world out there that I seldom ventured. I felt like a foreigner walking through the landscape, taking in new information. It felt like I was rummaging through an old mans dusty trunk stored in some attic, looking for pieces of gold, hoping to find at least something useful. There were no hearts or gift cards. Rather, there were Bible passages. Bits and pieces were coming together forming this picture for me. I felt enlightened, and slightly burdened.

"This is a lot of stuff." That was my first thought. Then I wondered, "Why God? Why is does it seem so complicated? Can't a guy and a girl just get together and be in love, then stay committed together in marriage?"

As I continued, I found that there were specific reasons why such precautions had to exist in courtship relationships. Many of the hows and why's began disappearing as I found my answers. I felt like a child again, learning important truths. I could almost picture it. A Father guiding his son through a mucky marsh, telling him, "Step here", "Don't do that, you'll regret it", "Follow me", "Watch for my lead", "Do as I do."

It's strange that I'm learning all this now. Of all days, why now? Regardless, God has his reasons. I have followed God to this day, and He has never wronged me. In fact, I often find that when I look back, I can see how He had protected me from people, circumstances, and even myself. I find it amazing.

It'll probably take years for me to mostly understand all this. I know I'm not ready for any courting with a girl, and I definitely know that I can't support a family. The idea scares me a bit (but only because I am so far from being ready). But that's alright. The smartest thing to do now is grow in my relationship with Christ. I'll concentrate on that and let Him do the fine tuning on everything. Besides, He knows me better than anyone.

I'm not looking down on people when they decide to go about relationships the dating way. I've known some very happy people who didn't court and got married. What I'm saying is that I don't think that there is only one way. I'm simply choosing it because it seems like the most biblically grounded direction to me, so I'm going to take it. Some people who honestly love the Lord have been put in my path, informing me on "Christian Courtship", and I think I'm going to actually listen and take heart this time. Besides, what's the harm in learning?

Here's one article that I found that was really informative. There were some parts that made me chuckle because I could picture a large old Londoner with a top hat an and eye monocle speaking the very words in this article. Then when I got to the bottom, I coughed up the tea I was drinking. It read, "Written by Charles J. Clarke, London, 1947."

Ok, so maybe Charles J. Clarke was indeed a large old man from London with a top hat and an eye monocle... Either way, it was golden information that I agreed with.

There were some parts that made me grin. This specific portion discussed what a woman should be able to do by the time courtship was permissible:

"The use, of the work-basket is necessary too, as well as so many other aspects of home-making."

In today's world, most girls don't knit baskets, but I get his point.. But I get the point. If you want the link to his article, you'll find that I put it on the bottom of this blog.

I'm beginning to understand why some girls who are brought up this way are the way they are. I've met a few girls who pursue relationships with this approach (I'm not implying that I wanted anything with them), and now I'm suddenly realizing why they were so strange to me. Now it actually seems to make sense because of all this new information. Looking back, I can see where I accidentally and unintentionally over stepped the boundaries they probably placed. Now I feel like a mere school boy who just had an epiphany. If any girls I offended read this years later, then I apologize, lol! :)

Some things I learned:
- A successful courtship ends with either friendship or marriage, there are no regrets.

- What needs to be pointed out is that it is much more than `great fun'. It is one of the most serious issues of your life. During these critical months and years you are choosing your life-partner, and therefore, you are choosing your destiny. You yourself are choosing your own happiness or misery. You are choosing whether the rest of your life is to be lived in the heaven of perpetual `keeping in love' or, may be, in the hell of disharmony and perpetual friction. Other people are not choosing for you. You would be indignant if they attempted to. You insist that this is your choice. And so it is.

- Dating does not necessarily equal "Dirty" unless you make it so. Dictionary.com's definition is pretty vague. Since so many people have different ideas about what "dating" is, then the definition seems relative. For you, dating means "X". For me, it may mean "K". If you and your decided partner want to talk about such things, then make sure your definitions are understood.

There's a ton more I learned, but I know there's a mountain of information waiting for me. Looks like I have some reading to do.

http://www.worldspirituality.org/christian-courtship.html

Naked wrestler nearly broke my bones!

I have a friend, let's call him Bruce, and he unintentionally taught me a lesson about anger. He was a big man as far as large muscular men go and he was with me on a missions trip. He's a great guy and he knows how to encourage people, plus he's funny. There was one particular thing he personally struggled with and I was able to learn about it first hand in a very scary way.

Little did I know, one of Bruce's pet peeves involved getting pranked upon. In all honesty, I think I was warned very early on when I got to know everybody. I guess I forgot somewhere down the road.

After a hot sweaty day at our job, Bruce and I talked about my lack of coolness. I was tense in those early weeks, and Bruce knew it. He suggested that I relax a little and loosen up. Since I knew he was right, I agreed. Later that afternoon while Bruce was in the shower, I decided to play a little trick on him. I was in that mode of relaxation, plus I wanted to let him know that I was fine.

I took a small cup and poured in cool water, filling it to the brim. Bruce's close friend curiously watched as I turned, walking slowly toward the bathroom toward Bruce. His eye brows shot up as he finally connected the dots. With a look of worry and warning in his eye's, he said in a distressed yet silent slow voice, "Noooo...!"

With a small mischievous smirk, I ignored his warning and silently approached the bathroom. As I turned the corner into the hallway, Bruce's friend again warned me, to which I once more ignored. As I turned into the bathroom, Bruce's friend tried one last attempt to save me from coming destruction. "Don't do it," he simply said.

"Don't do what?" said a voice from the bath tub. It really seemed like all things stopped. All I knew was that there was water showering down behind that curtain and my cup held hand raising above my head, toward Bruce. I calculated where Bruce's head might have been, and as soon as I said, "Heh,", I turned me hand to let cold water stream onto Bruce.

Unfortunately, only half of the water came out. All in one motion with brutal speed, Bruce's hand snatched the wrist hanging above his head, and with the other hand flung open the curtain. Before me was a raging man, with red blood shot eyes. I panicked, realizing the danger I had so foolishly put myself in. I wriggled my wrist free from Bruce's wet hand and ran out of the bathroom falling into the hallway. I was almost laughing because it's not every day where you see a naked man expose himself to you.

While struggling to get up from the floor, I witnessed a horrific sight. To my great regret and intense fear, Bruce jumped out of the tub onto both legs and bolted toward me in anger. This was the snap shot moment where I realized that there was a very angry, very big, very wet, very naked wrestler trying to run me down. If he got his hands on me, he could very well break some bones. In nightmarish panic, I ran through the kitchen into the living room with speed I didn't think I was capable of. As my hand touched the door knob to the world outside, I dared to glimpse back, in hopes that Bruce would not come raging at me. The only thing I witnessed and heard was a loud explosion in the kitchen. Papers were flying, chairs seemed to move on their own, and the fan on the table was bouncing on the floor by the refrigerator.

I didn't care at that moment, I just wanted to run where I'd be safe. I flung open the door and ran down the flight of steps in three great jumps. Landing on the grass, I hyper-flexed my left knee. I wasn't able to get up, but at least I was safe. I laughed at my excitement as I realized that I practically brushed against death. Ha!

Bruce's friend cautiously walked down the same steps. He said, "Bruce is mad at you. You better go up and apologize." I remarked, "Sure, just gimmie a minute. I think I really busted my leg. I can't get up..." Slowly as a turtle knowing he'll finish his race, I got up and walked up those stairs, back into the building. I gently opened the door as to not startle Bruce. Thankfully, Bruce was not waiting for me. The house seemed Vacant. I looked at the clutter in the kitchen. Along with papers, chairs, and a broken fan, water from some pitcher had splashed onto everything, covering a good portion of the floor.

If I remember correctly, I think I called for Bruce, hoping (or not hoping) that he was around. Since I didn't hear a reply, I began cleaning the kitchen. First drying the water, then propping the chairs up, throwing away useless paper, and fixing the fan. At some point, Bruce quickly walked out of his room and went outside toward the back door. As I continued cleaning, I realized that he had tried to stop when he was running after me. Some of the water that was on the ground was actually from him. He slid from under his wet feet and flew into the kitchen table, cutting his ankle. He obviously didn't want to talk to me, so I genuinely felt bad for him. I feared that I had damaged the friendship we had built.

A young friendship must be nurtured, like a sapling. It needs to be cared for by both sun and water. If one of those two things are missing, the sapling will die. The same concept applies to all friendships. Both people must be involved for the friendship to grow! Friendships that last, even when friends are apart, are strong because the friendship was continuously fed and strengthened by both people. Personally, some of my closest friends are literally hundreds of miles away. A strong friendship, like a strong tree, can go longer with out the tending of water and sun. It's harder to sustain a sapling friendship, because it's a weak thing. It doesn't take much to kill it.

Later throughout the day, Bruce and I ignored each other. Like a coward, I texted him, asking, "Hey man, do you wanna talk?" He eventually said, "Yeah, but not through texting."So we met in his room. He apologized to me, saying that he over reacted. He said that he knew he told me that I needed to loosen up earlier that day. He knew I was just having a little fun. Bruce acknowledged that he didn't know what came over him. We both apologized, hugged it out and continued to be friends. No resentment, no anger, and no bitterness. We forgave each other on the spot.

Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.
~James 1:19-20

Anger is something I struggle with, but it is contained in my self. I rarely let it out. Some of you ask, "How is that possible? Wouldn't you like, blow up or something?" Well, yes I would blow eventually. But that is rare because I let it out when I pray. If I'm seriously angry about something, I talk to God about it. There is something about talking to God that really calms me down. I let him take care of it and my heart feels lighter because of it. Like the passage above say's, you have to really try to hear the other person out, be careful with your words, and at all costs, try to control your anger.

Anger, if not contained in the right form, can take control of us. I was sure that if Bruce got his hands on me, then I would be in some terrible trouble. Thankfully the Lord looked after both of us. :)

If you have any comments, be sure the post!

Tough Situations

I often find that there are times where I'm in a really tough spot. Sometimes people think ill of you, and you simply don't know why (and sometimes it's the other way around). Other times the circumstances are so overwhelming that you wonder, "How did it come to this?!"

Maybe you try to make things right, and when you make the attempt... well, it just ends up looking like a mess. Then you say, "Well... I tried."

If I wanted to, I could lazily look over my shoulder at the behemoths that taunt me. These problems come and go in groups for me. Some groups are bigger than others. These problems are weighing heavily on me and I'm not sure if I can continue trying to fix them all. In fact, I think I'd better throw in the towel. I can't fix everything with my own efforts. People will think what they want against me, but they'll never fully understand the whole story. I can't help them if they refuse to listen.

I've got a few things to tackle and pray through. Well, actually there are about five things. But I'm not going to spill everything out because that's personal. But what I can do is tell you things on a very vague level. This way, you can still pray for me if you wish.

-Family
-Friends
-Personal Life
-Schooling
-Ministry

I'll open up just a little bit about one of the five things. Today I will have to make some big steps being an older brother. This is something I was never very good at. But I have found it to be very gratifying when I reach out for my sisters. It's natural I guess. Our family was never really that close to begin with (at least that's what I think), but it still hurts when your family is being torn apart before your eyes.

Today I'm going to try to go out and spend some time with my sister's boyfriend. I'll ask him some questions that might put him on the spot. I'll probably even make him feel a little bit guilty... "So this home of yours...", "Do you really think this is best for my sister?", "If you really loved her, wouldn't you want her to be in a place that's safer?", etc.

But my aim is not to scare him or threaten him. Tactful in word, I need to some how enable him to understand the gravity and weightiness of the circumstances he's in. He's a 19 year old boy trying to make giant steps in a relationship with my sister. Now I think I'm beginning to understand how a father might feel when a young man attempts to see his daughter. It must be a scary feeling and I know a brother-sister and father-daughter relationship is not the same. I also know that those two groups share a certain bond that hurts when stretched or possibly breaks.

I'm praying that things go well tonight.